My daughters need to know, that they are always safe with me. And this is something that should be true for every daughter everywhere. What their father should be their safe place. No matter the dress or condition, they should feel safe and secure from sexual advances or leering. They should be able to find comfort in the arms of their father, without the fears of being sexualized or felt or made to feel smaller to fit into their father’s or parents’ world.

This safety in arms, is what will guide their morality forward in life. It will make it easy for them to see the quality of a man quickly. And make it easy to see the right questions. Such as:

• “Is he paying attention to me, or placating me?”
• “Does he hear what I am saying, or is he just putting in the ‘time’, so that he can talk about himself?”
• “Does he see me, not only for who I am, but who I want to be in the future?”
• “Will he be respectful of my dreams and aspirations?”

If women do not have a father that can give them the security and presence of mind to be comfortable. They will be prone to confusing anxiousness with love. When that happens, most women will over-correct and lower their expectations so that they can have something more achievable. Especially if they have some inter-sexual trauma.

“When I say presence of mind, I mean the mental acuity to properly take in the man and their environment so that they are paying attention to the right things to find a lasting love.”

The first date or two of a couple are extremely important for triaging a relationship. But it is also important to not be to critical as well. Make sure you know where your boundaries are and what to look for, so that you don’t feel trapped and committed because of the amount of time spent in the relationship. Not all of the questions will be good for all of my daughters. Some of you will not care about things, that others will find very important.

• How is their etiquette at the table?
• How does their outfit come together (if that matters)?
• What are their hygiene habits?
• How do they treat the people around them?

“Especially service people, and the others they are NOT trying to get something from.”

The easiest way to avoid a relationship trap, is to pay attention to the environment around the man. And not what the man is saying to you. Pay attention to their actions, and if they are enabling those around them to be happy.